Tweets

@WatcherOfCarl

19 Oct 2009 Looking good today, Carl! Nice red shirt, recently washed car, spent more than 3 dollars on a coffee. Today is going to be sweet.

20 Oct 2009 Weren't wearing the same shirt when you got home. Kind of weird. Maybe you spilt that coffee on it on the way to work.

21 Oct 2009 Rainy day, hope your reports didn't get wet on the way to the car!

22 Oct 2009 Can't sleep. Your kitchen light is on, guess you can't either.

22 Oct 2009 My guess is that you are 36 years old and make around $75000 to $90000 per year. (Sorry, I missed you this morning)

23 Oct 2009 Saw your garbage bins were still at the end of your driveway so I brought them to the side of your house, where you usually keep them.

24 Oct 2009 Still trying to get a better picture of you to share. Maybe if you took longer to get to your car, I'd have more time to get my camera ready

25 Oct 2009 It's the weekend, but you're still wearing a tie. Your style knows no bounds, sir.

25 Oct 2009 We have new friends now, Carl!

26 Oct 2009 More coffee? I'm starting to become concerned, Carl. This is way too much.

27 Oct 2009 Feel like I have not much to report. Got up early to watch you go to work. FedEx came while you are away. That's about it.

28 Oct 2009 I thought you only had one car. Maybe you're test driving a new one.

29 Oct 2009 I wish I could trust someone to watch you while I'm away. I won't be gone long, though.

1 Nov 2009 Guess we've started a process that can't be reversed. Observation is interference and all that good stuff.

2 Nov 2009 I think I'm starting to detect a pattern, Carl. I hope I'm wrong. I didn't think you were like this.

2 Nov 2009 I think someone else knows too! I might not be the only one playing this game. I kind of can't believe this. Maybe I'm wrong.

3 Nov 2009 Carl, let me put this bluntly. You now have two neighbours watching you. I don't know if his intentions are honest. I'll watch him too.

3 Nov 2009 Forgot to mention: Nice new shoes, you classy devil!

4 Nov 2009 Good night, Carl. You should go to bed too; she'll be home soon enough.

5 Nov 2009 What I'm saying here, Carl, is that I could have kept your infidelities secret. Of course I would. But you haven't been discreet.

5 Nov 2009 He doesn't know I know. This gives me time.

8 Nov 2009 First draft of the plan is complete. Just need a few more observations. We're almost in the clear, Carl.

9 Nov 2009 Unexpected, but handled. I just need some time to get back up to speed. Normal will be back soon, Carl.

13 Nov 2009 Still need more time. Glad to see you still in high spirits. (Again with the multiple coffees today! You have an iron constitution.)

14 Nov 2009 This was by far the best suit I've seen you in. Well met, sir.

18 Nov 2009 Again, an absence. Would that someone could gaze at you from upon my perch.

20 Nov 2009 @TheThirdUnseen Friend, I believe that the correct ones will choose themselves.

*(In response to TheTirdUnseen: @WatcherofCarl Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? It has not been decided yet, friend. We must shift gears though. We must pick one.19 Nov 09)

20 Nov 2009 @becca_jetplane Thank you for your inspiring words.

*(In response to becca_jetplane: @WatcherofCarl Do not lose hope, it is never too late.16 Nov 09

20 Nov 2009 @SovietPremier Are you nice? *(In response to SovietPremier: - Tweet deleted - )

20 Nov 2009 Perhaps a week until full restoration, Carl. Decisive action will occur then. You'll be as free as you can be.

29 Nov 2009 Did you doubt me, Carl. We are friends. How could I let you down?

4 Dec 2009 I guess I didn't really expect you to wear boots. Even though the weather demands it, it really isn't your style.

4 Dec 2009 @iWatchHatshoe From within and without, friend.

*(In response to iWatchHatshoe: @WatcherofCarl You are a very interesting man. Tell me, where do you acquire inspiration for your "madness"?4 Dec 09 )

5 Dec 2009 Newspaper fell off the steps and into the garden. Fixed that for you. You're welcome.

5 Dec 2009 @TheThirdUnseen You are correct on several counts, friend.

(In response to TheThirdUnseen: @WatcherofCarl That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die. Mea culpa, friend. Mea culpa... Dormio.29 Nov 09)

6 Dec 2009 4 hours and 45 minutes from now. Omegle.com. Find me and I will answer one real question. Can't say we never had an open dialogue, Carl!

7 Dec 2009 @Rawrzack Indeedly so, friend. And also from the floor beneath that and also from the floor beneath that.

*(In response to Rawrzack: @WatcherofCarl hey i was just wondering, where do you watch carl from? your bedroom window is my guess.6 Dec 09)

7 Dec 2009 I don't know what you think you're doing, but snow chains are illegal. Get out of the garage (you silly fuck).

8 Dec 2009 Glad to see you didn't follow through with it. You didn't put the chains away though. You brought them inside.

12 Dec 2009 I realize now that we have never actually spoken. We once shared a mutual nodding of heads, that was special.

13 Dec 2009 We need a new display picture for you, Carl. Maybe I'll follow you to work again.

13 Dec 2009 Well Carl, last chance. Details soon. Not that you don't have more pressing matters to have an affair with.

8 Dec 2009You had guests, but you weren't home. They looked kind of disappointed. They dressed nicely.

20 Dec 2009 Let's try something new soon, Carl.

21 Dec 2009 You're kind of boring these days. Can't you buy something expensive soon?

21 Dec 2009 @Rawrzack Probably some kind of humdrum monotony, friend.
 * (In response to Rawrzack: @WatcherofCarl whats carl up too today?20 Dec 09)

27 Dec 2009 Time for a break, Carl. See you in January or whatever. Please still be alive by then. Thanks, bro.

1 Jan 2010 I have to applaud you on how impatiently you got fucked up last night. I heard you shout your countdown. It was 10:37.

6 Jan 2010 Almost time to come back, Carl. Hope you're ready.

9 Jan 2010How many vacation days do you get per year, Carl? We're not even out of the first month yet; you might want to ease off.

13 Jan 2010 Or don't. Either way is cool.

19 Jan 2010 Carl, if you knew how many friends you had, you'd be alarmed. Probably not enough to stop putting Metamucil in your wife's drinks though.

19 Jan 2010(P.S. I don't think it does what you think it does)

22 Jan 2010 At least pretend to be interested in what she does with her time. She painted that for YOU. Why throw it into the trunk so carelessly?

23 Jan 2010 I can hear her from out here! I told you she'd be mad!

24 Jan 2010 I didn't think you were the type to sleep on the couch. And you're not.

31 Jan 2010 Do not even tell me you are moving. This is impossible.

1 Feb 2010 Or is she moving?

1 Feb 2010 I don't understand. Who is selling whose belongings here?

2 Feb 2010 More coffee, Carl. Just trust me.

2 Feb 2010 I don't know if I like this. You probably wouldn't. You're not an easy man to please.

9 Feb 2010 I saw that!

10 Feb 2010 Going for a bit, Carl. Back soon. Prosper.

13 Feb 2010 Need more time. I'm sure you understand.

16 Feb 2010 I worry about you, Carl. I will return soon enough. Maybe "worry" isn't the right word.

21 Feb 2010 Soon. I promise!

28 Feb 2010 You didn't do much while I was away. Also, I think we need to work out a schedule. This is foolish.

28 Feb 2010 Does he work for you, Carl? Maybe you are more aware than you seem.

1 Mar 2010 On second though, maybe I won't share it just yet. I don't quite know what it means or if you are involved.

3 Mar 2010 Analysis is taking longer than expected. And I do think you have something to do with this video. There are too many coincidences, friend! 5

Mar 2010 Well, whatever. Back to lurking your shit.

7 Mar 2010 You spilled your coffee on the way out this morning. Then it froze. You now have coffee ice on your driveway.

10 Mar 2010 I've been busy. Please monitor yourself.

15 Mar 2010 Almost free! I think things are going to change in the next few weeks.

16 Mar 2010 Probably will have to after all. Nice sunglasses, by the way. They are for sure appropriate for rainstorms.

18 Mar 2010 Such matters that take me away from you! I am trying to be more faithful. Your wife isn't, though.

21 Mar 2010 Unfortunately, it is time to wait. Not long. We have many adventures yet, Carl!

25 Mar 2010 @DraveShift Another threat.
 * (In response to DraveShift: @WatcherofCarl What are you analyzing?4 Mar)

3 Apr 2010 Oh for god sakes, just solve this shit so we can move on.

21 Apr 2010 Well, what the shoot. Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened.

23 Apr 2010 It was worth a shot. Sorry she didn't go for it.

24 Apr 2010 I guess we have time again now. Just you and me now, Carl. Let's tell more stories soon!

1 May 2010 Cool hat. Looks too hot out for it though.

5 May 2010 Thought you would have done it by now. On to the next.

7 May 2010 Number of times you've come home drunk in the last three days: 6. Number of times I've come home drunk in the last three days: 5. So what.

18 May 2010 Compliments to the chef.

19 May 2010 Carl, now is not the time for vacations. Now is the time for you to remain exactly tied to your habits.

19 May 2010 P.S. I can hear your voice right now but can't see you.

20 May 2010 I was kind of loud about seeing you at your window. You were peaking out your blinds but I could clearly see your silhouette. I shouted.

22 May 2010 It is for sure Cut The Grass season by now. Cut your grass.

26 May 2010 You finally told her! It's about time. She has been waiting since the summer.

27 May 2010 There is time now!

28 May 2010 But who do you trust, Carl? 30 May 2010 A box full of what?

30 May 2010 Also, I don't think you are dressed like this just for church.

30 May 2010 Whatever the occasion actually was, you looked magnific

30 May 2010 ent

31 May 2010 It's not snow, Carl. It's not even anything.

9 Jun 2010 @octopusteeth Wish I could tell you, friend.

*(In response to octopusteeth: @WatcherofCarl What?1 Jun)

10 Jun 2010 You might not be my focus for a bit, Carl. I think this is an accusation.

11 Jun 2010 Caught you! Almost expected you to see me. But you don't even know I exist, do you? Anyway, new pic for your friends.

14 Jun 2010 Back to you, Carl. Didn't take much anything after all.

18 Jun 2010 You are a fast runner.

24 Jun 2010 Quite frankly, I still don't even know if it is time yet. Maybe you can take up some new habits until then.

6 Jul 2010 Let's continue this when I'm not sick as a fucking loon. I'll trust you to be on your best behaviour, Carl.

26 Jul 2010 It means she wants a divorce, Carl, obviously. I think I do too.

2 Aug 2010 Nope, still sick, you old sod. You even looked at my window! I want to believe you know exactly what's going on here.

4 Aug 2010 Illness increases. We might not know each other for awhile.

25 Aug 2010 I would just like to say,

25 Aug 2010 (*blank*)

16 Sep 2010 Well Carl, I'll decide pretty soon. Regardless, I plan on seeing you quite often still.

17 Sep 2010 I have heard of "Hot Carls" before, but never "Chocolate Kazakhs". You are fucking disgusting. (I think).

19 Sep 2010 @SepiaGirl In degrees, yes. Thank you, Kind One.

*(In response to SepiaGirl: @WatcherofCarl Feeling any better? I hope you are, I miss your pages!12 Sep)

19 Sep 2010 @trenteatspeople Thankings, Eumenoid!

*(In response to trenteatspeople: @watcherofcarl hope to have you feeling better soon, friend.13 Sep)

19 Sep 2010 @Tauo_A Qurk?

*(In response to Tauo_A: - broken english spam, deleted -)

20 Sep 2010 Hot dog breakfast!

21 Sep 2010 Followed by pork chop breakfast! Wisdom!

21 Sep 2010 Loud sounds followed by her running out of the house. I hope you at least didn't spill your chardonnay.

27 Sep 2010 I took a break from trying to understand his video to watch you put two cartons of cigarettes in your car. That is strange to me.

27 Sep 2010 Enough of that idiot film. You are my sole focal point again, old bean.

1 Oct 2010 Soon, right?

2 Oct 2010 I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other.

2 Oct 2010 P.S. Hope you like my going away present!

2 Oct 2010 (When you find it)

13 Oct 2010 This will be the third last time,.

14 Oct 2010 I should probably try to get a final picture of you. THE picture.

17 Oct 2010 You're too fast!

6 Nov 2010 Back in just over a week. Not that you look over your shoulder anymore.

22 Nov 2010 North and south poles.

29 Nov 2010 I don't even think she's an associate of an associate. From a different messenger than the usual. Maybe I should do the same for you?

20 Dec 2010 The paper boy saw it too.

7 Jan 2011 I would like to just return, if that would be possible. Open up the blasted door, for heaven sakes.

24 Jan 2011 Left your fireplace on again. Took care of it for you. Don't worry about it.

27 Jan 2011 For heaven sakes, WHEN? 27 Jan 2011 @hydrargyrumA Perhaps we've met before.

*(In response to hydrargyrumA: @WatcherofCarl hang tight, i heard the door opens at 10:507 Jan)

27 Jan 2011 @ClocktowerKing We probably wouldn't try to steal.

*(In response to ClocktowerKing: @WatcherofCarl A modern Vita Karoli? How novel. Puellam cruentam credere.15 Jan)